Once upon a time, on a posh press trip to Alicante in Southern Spain, where I was looking after a bunch of journalists there to see the start of the Volvo Ocean Race, one of our party suggested we ditched the Michelin star restaurant that we were in and went in search of the late legend that was Sticky Vicky.

In case you’re unfamiliar with her work, Vicky is described by Wikipedia as “….a Spanish ballet dancer and illusionist, known for her vaginal magic show”. With a career spanning over 50 years, the iconic Vicky sadly passed away in 2023 at the age of 80. Her final performance took place in autumn 2015, when she was in her 70s.

Back in 2014, a year before she retired, some of our party tracked her down to a bar on ‘The Strip’ in Benidorm, a city known as the ‘New York of the Mediterranean’, due to its high density of skyscrapers.

While I recall very little in the way of ballet, we feel lucky to have seen the late, great Vicky before she hung up the teddy bears, razor blades and bunches of fake flowers which were part of her ‘magic show’. I will leave to your imagination the details of where she ‘magically’ produced these from, but we applauded her ‘tricks’ and it felt more PG than X-rated.

Needless to say, her props must have required a fair amount of lubricant to be extracted from their hiding place, as I later discovered.

Between acts and after the floor had been cleared, it opened up as a dance floor. I took one step on it and came crashing down, straight on to my right elbow. Being the trooper that I am, I danced the night away and we saw part of another act (which wincingly involved a swing and lots more lube) before we returned to our five star hotel in the hills (the utterly gorgeous Asia Gardens Hotel and Thai Spa) deciding it wasn’t for us.

Next day, I resisted going to Benidorm A&E and foolishly flew home, nursing my arm and wincing when we hit turbulence, my colleague kindly managing my luggage.

I told my former boss and client at the time that I had slipped in the shower, when I came to work with my arm in a sling after a very painful UK A&E visit, where they forcibly straightened my by then wonky arm.

But in reality, I enjoy telling people about the time I broke my elbow, slipping on Sticky Vicky’s lube. My arm is still at a bit of a jaunty angle, so to me, the legend that is Vicky lives on in me!

Are there many Brits in Benidorm?

Benidorm has been a tourist destination within Spain since 1925, when its port was extended and the first hotels were built and is much-loved by many people I’ve spoken to who’ve been.

Now renowned as the most British town in Spain, it has the highest concentration of British expats and visitors in Spain, with British tourists accounting for 45% of overnight stays in the city

While Benidorm is a popular destination for Brits, it’s not exclusively full of them. The resort is also frequented by Spanish nationals and tourists from other countries. Benidorm’s popularity with Brits is partly due to its affordability, vibrant nightlife and sunny climate.

Apparently, Benidorm’s image is evolving from a reputation as a party destination for British tourists to a more diverse and sophisticated tourist hub, attracting a wider range of visitors. This shift is driven by new luxury hotels, golf courses, restaurants, and a growing appreciation for the resort’s 20th-century architecture, which some suggest could even be recognised as a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

Journalist Tracey Bagshaw from Norwich in the UK recently visited Benidorm, but did she keep it classier than we did and experience the more upmarket side to the city? This is what she said:

We’d always secretly fancied a few days in Benidorm,

We’d watched the TV antics of the Garveys around the pool at the Solana, in the ITV sitcom of the same name, followed Madge getting increasingly more mahogany as she zipped around on her scooter and devoured huge platefuls of C5’s Bargain Loving Brits in the Sun – so we felt we’d done our homework.

Everyone laughed when we said where we were going. From some of the reactions, you’d think we’d booked a package for a two-centre holiday to Sodom and Gomorrah. But we were undeterred.

The husbands didn’t fancy it, so we booked it, packed it and printed the T-shirts for a girls’ weekend of….well, we weren’t really sure.

Where to stay in Benidorm

Our apartment turned out to be perfectly placed on Poniente Beach – Levante Beach’s more civilised, more Spanish twin. We were just a few steps from the sand and there were little bars and restaurants nearby – and with everything that end closing by 10pm, it was the perfect place to stay.

Everything the other end is open pretty much around the clock – so if you want to sleep, head south.

Our five-bedroom rental apartment “Velazquez” on the seafront was £660 for four nights full price, although it’s gone up a lot for next year though… we’ve looked!

What to do in Benidorm

Benidorm comes in three parts. Poniente, which is quieter and where Spanish couples go for their paseo, strolling arm in arm along the beautiful promenade. There’s also a cycling and running path which is well-used.

Then there’s the old town – a mass of streets, old, low buildings housing restaurants and shops where it’s very easy to lose yourself, making discoveries along the way. It’s also home to Tapas Alley which is a lot nicer than it sounds.

Officially called Calle Santo Domingo, rows of tables line the street, serving delicious food in a great atmosphere with acrobats, singers and musicians strolling between the tables.

The quality varies. Our favourite was a troupe of young Brazilian acrobats who, shall we say, played to the ‘laydeez’. Needless to say they went away with the most tips, but I’m showing my age by worrying about stress fractures from somersaulting on concrete.

The old town also boasts the lovely El Balcón del Mediterráneo which – if you can fight your way through the Insta crowd – is a great place to watch the sun go down and there are places to eat and drink around the harbour.

It’s also very easy to get a tram from town to pretty whitewashed villages such as Altea and Albir if the high-rise hustle gets a bit too much. We headed out to Altea where a steep climb through narrow streets is rewarded with a beautiful square, a lovely church and some cute shops and cafés. We rewarded ourselves with ice creams. Mine arrived on a train, although I’m not entirely sure why, but then again, why not…?

Then it was back to the beach which is pristine, totally free of litter and where six Euros buys you a lounger and a nice nap until the hangover wears off.

Nightlife in Benidorm

You could spend a few days in Benidorm without venturing anywhere near The Dark Side, but you have to dip a toe into the lairyness of what is known as The Strip.

Much like an airport, The Strip – and the new town in general  – does not adhere to the same time zones as everywhere else. Beers at 9am? You got it. Cocktails at 11am? Coming right up. Full drag show at tea time? Look no further. Pretty much anything goes.

Forget the “no shoes, no shirt, no service” rules – the beachside bars very much adopt a less is more dress code. Let it all hang out and throw caution (and often dignity) to the winds.

Don’t fight it – go with it.

Full disclosure, we only dipped a toe in. We walked past the bucking bull at the Café Benidorm and swivelled quickly out of one place where half a dozen pensioners in football shirts were attempting to get down on the floor for Oops Upside Your Head. They may still be there, judging by their joints and the state of the floor.

But we did go along to Sinatra’s, a club where tribute acts flow thick and fast – Elvis, The Drifters, Westlife, By 2am, you don’t notice that it may be the same people in different shirts.

There were so many tribute bands that I have a theory – say who you want to see and four or five performers will get together and knock something up for you. Some of them are too good to be pounding the circuit of pissed punters and sicky, sticky floors, but if it pays, it pays.

Talking of sticky…… Sticky Vicky may be long gone but apparently her granddaughter has followed in the family footsteps and is performing the, er, unique act. We politely declined going to see her and also the chance to see ‘live sex on a segway’.

When you’ve had enough of the tottering hens and bemused stags (often groups of middle aged dads and uncles wondering where they are and why their shirts have penis patterns on them) you can follow the trail of abandoned pink stetsons to the taxi ranks and home to your hotel.

Where to drink in Benidorm

Most of the hotels are high rise, which means there are rooftop bars. And we LOVE a rooftop bar.

We went to the 47^th floor bar at the top of the Gran Hotel Bali right at the end of Poniente Beach and while the view was breath-taking – and knee-wobbling – it was a bit functional and not really worth the €15 (including a cocktail) admission. The Selvatico, at the Hotel Primavera Park (stag parties not permitted), however, was a photographer’s dream. Stylish surroundings, a saxophonist playing on the side of the infinity pool, gorgeous clientele (and not just us) – it was the best place to watch the sun go down.

Where to eat in Benidorm

We ate at:

• El Bodegon Aurrera: Tapas and a stunning selection displayed along the bar (patatas bravas €6.80, croquettes €8.80 and mixed fried fish from Villajoyosa market €14.90)
• Diva 13… bustling restaurant right in the middle of all the street entertainment (pizzas from €8.50, pasta from €11.50 and burgers from €10.  Diva 15 next door is a gin and tonic bar
• El Bodegon de Julio.: brilliant traditional tapas restaurant right on the edge of The Strip (no menu available online)
• Il Gusto – right on Poniente Beach. Italian and brilliant burgers (no menu available online)

Is Benidorm expensive?

As far as money is concerned, it  really wasn’t expensive. The bars around our apartment charged around €6 for a gin (free-poured), an Aperol Spritz or similar drinks. Beers ranged from €1 in places where they wanted your custom up to around a fiver.

Wine in a restaurant was about €18 a bottle for something more than ok and in the supermarket, €3 or €4 bought something very nice indeed.

Obviously the fancier the restaurant, the fancier the prices. The four of us went for traditional tapas, paella etc with wine – usually two bottles – and our most expensive bill was around €100.

Full English breakfasts started at around a fiver – although neighbouring cafes undercut each other to see how low they could go for bacon and eggs. Avocados, tostadas and tortillas are also available.

Sunbeds and parasols are €6 each but if you don’t want one, you can lie on the sand for free – no hard sell.

Is Benidorm safe?

Lots of people talk about the crime there, but if you keep your wits about you in crowded areas, you’ll be fine – just like everywhere else.

Avoid the ‘pea men’. These are conmen trying to get you to bet on which cup the pea is under at your peril. YOU WILL NOT WIN….so don’t try. Don’t even stand around to watch – keep on walking.

Also, avoid the waiters selling cocktails on the beach. It’s illegal, unmonitored and not worth the risk.

Did we love it? An emphatic yes. Should you go? Again, yes. Leave your preconceived ideas behind and lean into it all. If you want quiet evenings, good food and sightseeing you can have all that without even knowing that the lairy bit is there.

Will we go back? Of course – we have a lot left to see. At the very least I need to find out how that segway thing is even possible…

Tracey and friends flew from Norwich with Ryanair for £254 return with priority hand luggage.

Like what you’ve read? You can read Tracey’s review of Kalkan in Turkey here.

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